I've known for as many years as I've known I was gay that I live in an intolerant place. This week, though, I learned I had underestimated the intolerance. Sure, 'gay' and 'fag' are slung around with impunity. Sure, that girl gets called a dyke because she's, as far as the abusers are concerned, ugly, or fat, or simply not feminine enough to fit their paradigm. Sure, Obama's (glorious, groundbreaking, heaven-sent) announcement that he supports marriage equality proves to everyone in the school that he is, in fact, gay, because only queers like queers.
But one incident this week showed me the depths of the stupidity around me.
We pray during the first class of the day, and our teacher takes prayer requests. The second request was from my best friend in the world, and it was thanks for Obama's support for marriage equality (and she did say 'marriage equality', which shows exactly where she stands).
The ambient noise of the class stopped. Everyone stared at her. I smiled wider than I ever have (while using all my theatrical training to resist the burning in my cheeks which I felt would affirm my homosexuality). On being questioned, my friend backed up her claim with the fact that it may very well help prevent gay suicides, which are at pandemic proportions. My teacher was flustered, clearly shocked at how such a good, smart little girl held such satanic views. She gathered herself.
"I don't think I can pray for that."
She built her base around the inherent (unexplained in this instance) immorality of homosexuality, and then she said the most backwards words I'd heard in the school. I've heard my psychology teacher state that homosexuality is 'just... immoral!' I've heard my world religions teacher claim that 'the bible is clear it's [teh gay] wrong. No question.' (it isn't, by the way. Definite gray area). I've heard a guest speaker talk about his gay uncle, who always seems sad at reunions, and that it's because he has no family (because, you know, gays can't have kids).
But this? This takes the case. This masters degree holding, published, friendly woman opened her mouth and said "I think it's a choice."
Really? So I chose to oppose every 'traditional family value' (I hate those words) that my family taught me in some sort of act of rebellion? I woke up one day and thought, "Hey, you know what? I want to quadruple my risk of suicide? And let's get some bullying up in here. And if that fails to brighten my mood, maybe Fred Phelps can tell me how much God hates me. Yeah, that'll be fun!"
She added that actions open the door a bit more, and a bit more. You apparently become gay by doing gay things. Which falls apart quickly. I was never molested. I never did anything romantic with anyone (male or female). Sex never touched my life until well after I knew I was attracted to boys and stumbled across a gay porn site. I was gay before I witnessed, much less engaged in, anything gay (indeed, I haven't engaged in anything gay by any definition).
I was amazed she even said that. What was more amazing (in a good way) was after the prayer when my best friend said "And thank you, God, for Obama." She didn't just offer thanks for what the class viewed as the destruction of marriage. She offered thanks for the man who had done, the man who I'm sure some still claim is the Antichrist.
I love her.
The next day, between prayer requests and the prayer, the teacher asked my friend if she had any more 'thanks for Obama'. She said it the same way one might repeat a friend's unintentional misspeaking. A humorous reminder of oh, how wrong you were. She thinks she won.
Oh, how wrong she is.
I am writing a research paper now. I am going to cite every single word of it with scientifically sound studies. I will make it blatantly clear that homosexuality (or any sexuality, really) is not a choice. Then I will show how gay marriage is the only reasonable course. I am going to use every rhetorical skill she taught me. I am going to use every ounce of the writing ability God has given me. I am going to begin the career of activism my entire life will continue.
I don't expect to change her mind. But I will send a message. The gay is here, and it ain't goin' nowhere.
Someone has to tell her.
No comments:
Post a Comment