The Interim

What follows is a ramble.

DOMA is dead and Prop 8 fallen. Forgive me for a lack of proclamations about the battle now ending. I've known it has been for a long time. This is just one more (wonderful, wonderful) step on the way.

In the time since I last posted, I came out to my roommate who was ecstatic (and this is why I love him). I came out to my friends at college. No one minds, and one of those with a religious opposition listened. He heard my biblical arguments (more or less the teachings of Matthew Vines). He has not given a yea or nay, but he listened. he considered. For that, I thank him. Remember him. He's important. We'll call him Henry. He's likely a player in my very next post.

April 1st, 2013, I came out to my parents. I sent an email with a dozen attachments. Included were a handful of letters written by friends. My parents survived. They took it better than could be hoped. I live with them yet. I think they avoid the topic, though. My mother is still, I think, hurt by this and she would likely count it among her greatest sorrows. But she doesn't blame me. My father shows no disappointment. He only worries about my health. Not in an AIDS way; they know I'm staunchly against premarital sex. But he fears I'll be hurt by someone in a homophobic assault. So he's exactly what I think he ought to be. I probably need a little fear.

I came out officially to two friends who always suspected just at the start of the month. One of them had just graduated high school, and she had her graduation party. I was one of three who stayed very late to play board games (we have a thing for Monopoly). After Monopoly, we played Life. I took a second blue piece when I got married. Which is elegant, I think. Simply elegant.

I've also helped at Vacation Bible School again. I believe that the only workers at that church who know of my sexuality are my parents who teach there and an old, semi-retired pastor whom my father has looked to for guidance. I don't think they'd ask me back if they knew. To protect the children or something. Even though I haven't had the opportunity to teach them some gay agenda. The worst I've done is queering the roles when I have the kids act out Bible stories. But that has reason too. Almost everyone we talk about is male. If a little girl wants to act, she can play Ezekiel. I don't mind. Neither does she (though problems arose when I had a male widow with a female son).

But hey, down with the gender binary.

Beginning to Battle

So I've just finished up my last high school play. Which is the end of high school for me, more or less. The drama department was more my family than anything but my family. Besides that, even in Conservative Christian County, our drama departments have the highest concentration of the Gay. I can count at least two being in the department at the same time, as well as at least four open supporters of equality.

But of course, even in the fabled gay sanctuary of the Theatre, there are the ignorant. Take for example, my friend and protege of sorts, Ian. Ian and I more or less shared lead positions in the play, and so we were often alone in the locker room (no green room for us) changing from one tuxedo to another for our next scene in two minutes.

Now, n high school, among hormonal, insecure boys, it is common to assert heterosexuality and masculinity by farcically acting gay to prove how comfortably straight you are. Combine that with my actual homosexuality and thus interest in the topic, and queer conversations make up a great part of my speech.

I don't know how we got on the topic this time (perhaps I was discussing my future marriage to Chris Colfer with whom, though I am not openly gay and a surprising number of people seem to have no idea that I am, I am openly in love), but we got there, and he made some sort of casual, spiteless-but-ignorantly-homophobic comment, to which I replied that I could biblically defend homosexuality. His exact reply was "I would be interested in hearing that."

We talked, and I hit all my major points, and his boiled down to "Gay sex is gross" (response: "Sex is gross") and "Gays have no religion", which I conceded is not entirely baseless (though I pointed how the Church drove us away for years. It would be much easier to lose my faith if I felt I had to give up the love our culture so tells me I need).

I didn't win. I didn't change his mind. But I've planted a seed. He's open for continued talks. I've invited a friend of mine who is LGBTQ-supportive (though I believe she yet believes gay acts to be sin) to join us. I hope we do continue to talk.

At the end, though, I asked him if he'd attend my wedding with Chris Colfer.

He said yes. He'd be 'very uncomfortable' and it would be 'weird'. But that's miles from the fire and brimstone some would hurl. It shows some level of tolerance. In Conservative Christian County, this is progress. It's a sign of accepting times.

It's a sign of hope.

I Don't Get People

It boggles me the way people think. People have the strangest thoughts, and while I'm sure I have ways of thinking many don't understand, some things leave me dumbfounded.

The best example would be many of my peers' opinions on homosexuality and how the law should deal with it. I understand perfectly that they consider it a sin, and that is a perfectly valid stance. But they also hold the doctrine that, in the eyes of God, all sins are equal. Now these people clearly have their own sins, which they themselves would classify as sins: damaging drug/alcohol use, premarital sex, pride, theft, even gossip.

Yet they hold homosexuality as a sin above sins. They staunchly oppose gay marriage (and therefore oppose encouraging committed monogamy against 2-10% of the population). I'm certain they would never advocate similar prohibition against anything in their list of problems, though.

Yet which is more destructive? Gay marriage shows economic boosts, often takes children from foster care, and produces mentally sound offspring. Gossip destroys relationships, theft harms the economy, pride leads to harmful selfishness, premarital sex can spread STDs, and drugs and alcohol can destroy people entirely.

The government's job isn't to lay down holy law, as interpreted by conservative Christians. Its job is to protect and help its people. Gay marriage protects people by normalizing gay relationships and preventing the bullying that makes it commonplace to read about gay suicides. Gay marriage helps people by boosting the economy and giving children parents. There is no reason beyond religion to oppose gay marriage.

As an aside, I'd like to defend homosecuality from a religious standpoint. Matthew 7:17-18 says Even so, every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. From where I stand, gay marriage and loving gay relationships bring forth good fruit.

I'm more inclined to believe Jesus than five or six scattered passages that can be interpreted multiple ways, you know?

Being Gay and Loving God

I was away all this past week, nearly, and thus I'm not only a bit delayed ;osting this (still Monday!), but I have nothing written. Thank the Lord I have this essay to share with you. Now, don't be afraid of it; it is an essay and it is lengthy, but it is one of the few coherent, intelligent arguments that support homosexuality in a Christian context. Just give it a look. If you're Chrisitan, it may give you what you need, and if you aren't, you can still use it to debate homosexuality with the terms being used against you.

http://www.gaychristian.net/justins_view.php#5

Again, sorry about not writing. I'll do something for Wednesday. I can't safely write in secret for Wednesday (no worries) so it might be a while. Surely by Monday, though.