Remember when I said, "My plan is to let my parents know [I'm gay] sometime after I no longer depend upon them at all financially and sometime before I get engaged. Which will be a while."? (source) I've almost entered that window.
I thought I had time. I'm not even out of high school yet, and I've never held down a job. Surely with a mountain of debt coming my way, I could blissfully skip along rainbows for years amongst friends, and simply resume the washed out grayscale life of closet life when home. But thanks to a scholarship, I don't have a penny of debt coming towards me, while my college fund (now unneeded) remains.
Within four months, I'll have money to my name and no demands upon it. I'll have passed the financially independent threshold.
The countdown will begin.
What's worse is that I have no idea how long I'll have. I might be well into grad school before I meet anyone worth marrying. But maybe not. Remember Travis? My freshman year role model who turned out to be as gay as the day is long? This very month, he ended up engaged. Academically, he's only three years ahead of me. Age-wise, he's hardly more than two ahead.
I'm willing to marry young if I meet the right person. I could be where he is soon enough. A month ago, I felt like I still had forever. Now, I'm mentally making notes on my coming out email. Or series of emails. Or whatever I do.
Almost as if to make it worse (in a way I do not begrudge in the least), my bestie is in the throes of infatuation. And we talk about him, and it's fun, but as I side effect, I'm falling in love with love. Which means I've thought more about my wedding in the past few weeks than in the preceding eighteen years.
Which means I wonder if my parents will be there.
I'v heard wonderful, heartwarming stories. But I've heard the bad ones too. There's a reason that there have been so very many gay suicides. Thankfully, I know I could lose my family and live.
But I'd rather keep them.
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Monday, April 23, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
I Don't Get People
It boggles me the way people think. People have the strangest thoughts, and while I'm sure I have ways of thinking many don't understand, some things leave me dumbfounded.
The best example would be many of my peers' opinions on homosexuality and how the law should deal with it. I understand perfectly that they consider it a sin, and that is a perfectly valid stance. But they also hold the doctrine that, in the eyes of God, all sins are equal. Now these people clearly have their own sins, which they themselves would classify as sins: damaging drug/alcohol use, premarital sex, pride, theft, even gossip.
Yet they hold homosexuality as a sin above sins. They staunchly oppose gay marriage (and therefore oppose encouraging committed monogamy against 2-10% of the population). I'm certain they would never advocate similar prohibition against anything in their list of problems, though.
Yet which is more destructive? Gay marriage shows economic boosts, often takes children from foster care, and produces mentally sound offspring. Gossip destroys relationships, theft harms the economy, pride leads to harmful selfishness, premarital sex can spread STDs, and drugs and alcohol can destroy people entirely.
The government's job isn't to lay down holy law, as interpreted by conservative Christians. Its job is to protect and help its people. Gay marriage protects people by normalizing gay relationships and preventing the bullying that makes it commonplace to read about gay suicides. Gay marriage helps people by boosting the economy and giving children parents. There is no reason beyond religion to oppose gay marriage.
As an aside, I'd like to defend homosecuality from a religious standpoint. Matthew 7:17-18 says Even so, every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. From where I stand, gay marriage and loving gay relationships bring forth good fruit.
I'm more inclined to believe Jesus than five or six scattered passages that can be interpreted multiple ways, you know?
The best example would be many of my peers' opinions on homosexuality and how the law should deal with it. I understand perfectly that they consider it a sin, and that is a perfectly valid stance. But they also hold the doctrine that, in the eyes of God, all sins are equal. Now these people clearly have their own sins, which they themselves would classify as sins: damaging drug/alcohol use, premarital sex, pride, theft, even gossip.
Yet they hold homosexuality as a sin above sins. They staunchly oppose gay marriage (and therefore oppose encouraging committed monogamy against 2-10% of the population). I'm certain they would never advocate similar prohibition against anything in their list of problems, though.
Yet which is more destructive? Gay marriage shows economic boosts, often takes children from foster care, and produces mentally sound offspring. Gossip destroys relationships, theft harms the economy, pride leads to harmful selfishness, premarital sex can spread STDs, and drugs and alcohol can destroy people entirely.
The government's job isn't to lay down holy law, as interpreted by conservative Christians. Its job is to protect and help its people. Gay marriage protects people by normalizing gay relationships and preventing the bullying that makes it commonplace to read about gay suicides. Gay marriage helps people by boosting the economy and giving children parents. There is no reason beyond religion to oppose gay marriage.
As an aside, I'd like to defend homosecuality from a religious standpoint. Matthew 7:17-18 says Even so, every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. From where I stand, gay marriage and loving gay relationships bring forth good fruit.
I'm more inclined to believe Jesus than five or six scattered passages that can be interpreted multiple ways, you know?
Monday, February 13, 2012
Amid Celebration
God bless you, Governor Gregoire.
Washington State has done it. Marriage equality (a term I use because I truly feel this is now a matter of equality) has been signed into law by Governor Chris Gregoire. I confess I only started following this case a month ago, and I didn't know the name Gregoire until the past two weeks. I still don't know much about her.
I do know she's Roman Catholic.
This story heartens me. With people (a term I use loosely) like Bachmann driving children to suicide in the name of religion, we need powerful figures to say that, at the very least, it isn't bad to love whomever you love. Don't get me wrong, I love Ellen, Chris Colfer, Gaga, NPH, and everyone else who fills the mainstream mind, but they all remain part of Hollywood. No matter how famous they are, they don't have the authority of lawmakers. Representatives have the voice of the people, and so their rebuke is the rebuke of the people.
Tell someone that he or she is bad often enough and they believe it.
Gregoire gives me hope. She was put into an extremely powerful position, and she acted not on how many interpret her faith (honestly, even she may be religiously opposed. I don't know), nor on how even some in her own party disagreed with her. She acted on conscience, and that is worth more than all the votes in the world.
I am biased, of course. I am a homosexual who errs on the side of liberal, but my best friend who errs on the side of conservative agrees with me here. Every ounce of research shows improved health, improved economy, improved happiness with marriage equality. Regardless of religion, the government exists to aid the people, and all this can do is aid.
I am unable to share my joy publicly without fear of being found out. I can't contact Gregoire because her contact form requires an address, and I prefer to stay as safe as possible. I can speak safely here, behind my mask. And so I do:
Thank you, Governor Gregoire. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you Ed Murray, who sponsored the bill. Thank you for the lives saved and the families affirmed. Thank you for hope. Thank you for providing another gleam at the end of the tunnel for a scared little boy who doesn't know what he can dare to hope for anymore.
Thank you.
Washington State has done it. Marriage equality (a term I use because I truly feel this is now a matter of equality) has been signed into law by Governor Chris Gregoire. I confess I only started following this case a month ago, and I didn't know the name Gregoire until the past two weeks. I still don't know much about her.
I do know she's Roman Catholic.
This story heartens me. With people (a term I use loosely) like Bachmann driving children to suicide in the name of religion, we need powerful figures to say that, at the very least, it isn't bad to love whomever you love. Don't get me wrong, I love Ellen, Chris Colfer, Gaga, NPH, and everyone else who fills the mainstream mind, but they all remain part of Hollywood. No matter how famous they are, they don't have the authority of lawmakers. Representatives have the voice of the people, and so their rebuke is the rebuke of the people.
Tell someone that he or she is bad often enough and they believe it.
Gregoire gives me hope. She was put into an extremely powerful position, and she acted not on how many interpret her faith (honestly, even she may be religiously opposed. I don't know), nor on how even some in her own party disagreed with her. She acted on conscience, and that is worth more than all the votes in the world.
I am biased, of course. I am a homosexual who errs on the side of liberal, but my best friend who errs on the side of conservative agrees with me here. Every ounce of research shows improved health, improved economy, improved happiness with marriage equality. Regardless of religion, the government exists to aid the people, and all this can do is aid.
I am unable to share my joy publicly without fear of being found out. I can't contact Gregoire because her contact form requires an address, and I prefer to stay as safe as possible. I can speak safely here, behind my mask. And so I do:
Thank you, Governor Gregoire. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you Ed Murray, who sponsored the bill. Thank you for the lives saved and the families affirmed. Thank you for hope. Thank you for providing another gleam at the end of the tunnel for a scared little boy who doesn't know what he can dare to hope for anymore.
Thank you.
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